The following is a blog entry by a client of mine. To protect confidentiality, he has chosen the pen-name of Sam F. for himself. We thought that him sharing his thoughts on making and keeping friends from his school years to his adulthood might prove useful for those on the spectrum who also struggle with making friends.

“Hello! My name is Sam. I’m a 26-year-old male with Asperger’s and ADHD.

Making friends is sometimes more difficult for me than the average person. In school, I didn’t fit in with any of the other students. I preferred to be alone, read or listen to classical music. Even when I did make connections in school, the prospective friends would give me odd looks or get angry at me for reasons I didn’t understand.

It was a tough time in my life. As an adolescent, I didn’t have very many social skills. I would often stare at people that I wanted to connect, or have a relationship with. The behavior made for some awkward and extremely uncomfortable situations, such as being asked to stay behind in class and think about situations that I, myself, didn’t fully understand.

Over time, with intervention, time for introspective thought and reading lots of Dear Abby, I slowly began successfully making friends. And, the result is that, today, I have many friends that I hang out with many times during the year.

Part of this, I believe, is slowly building on my communication and conversation skills. Usually, I become friends with those who have similar interests to mine. Being musical and enjoying acting—naturally—I have a lot of musician and theater friends.

It feels good to be at a point in my life where I have friendships, and I feel good about where they are heading. These friendships are rewarding, fun and relaxing. And, it makes me feel good that I have been able to succeed as much as I have, given my challenges growing up. It is wonderful to feel good and positive about those I am friends with.”