Publications & Research

With Greta Thunberg being chosen as Time magazine’s 2019 Person of the Year, young women on the spectrum are gaining greater visibility. And as children are increasingly being diagnosed with autism, independent educational consultants (IECs) are likely to encounter more students on the spectrum in their caseloads. But much of what people know—or think they know—about autism is based on a predominantly male presentation, so it is important to learn about the unique needs and challenges of females on the spectrum.

Anik, 22, who is white and European American, began counseling at the behest of their parents due to their questions about ASD and gender identity. Anik currently uses and prefers to be referred to by the pronouns “they/them/theirs.” They dress in business casual attire—oversized silk blouses neatly tucked into their tailored trousers—and keep their messy, curly hair in a ponytail. They have a bachelor’s degree in history and are currently unemployed and looking for a job. Anik was designated female at birth and was given a girl name. For the last two years, they have begun to suspect that they are agender and have been using the name Anik.

Neurological differences like Asperger’s and autism can be seen as necessary evolutionary adaptations rather than pathologies. An alternate mindset rather than a disorder. As an Asperger/autism specialist and couples counselor, I work with individuals with neurological differences such as Autism Spectrum Difference (ASD) and Asperger Syndrome partnered with a non-spectrum partner (NS). After seeing recurring challenges that these neurodiverse couples face, I developed the following strategies that they’ve found useful.

Bridging Parallel Play in Asperger Marriage: A Thesis

Read Eva’s Thesis! 87 Pages of Information About Marriage and Relationships with Asperger’s/Autism!

Please Note: This book is a PDF file (not a printed copy) of Eva’s thesis. Once you pay for it via Paypal, you will receive a link to the PDF that you can download and read.

Eva Mendes and Michael Wilcox, from the Massachusetts Special Commission on Autism, co­presented this workshop at the Jody Acford Spirit 2013 Conference: Know Yourself—The Key to A Better Life. They discussed effective ways to communicate in Asperger marriages and relationships. This workshop focused primarily on advocating for one’s own needs while respecting those of your partner, who might be a neurotypical (NT) or have AS/ASD as well.

Support Groups for Women with Asperger Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Conditions

Los grupos de apoyo para las mujeres con Síndrome de Asperger/Condiciones del Espectro Autista